Even the Canadian satire industry has not escaped Trump’s trade war, with an expected 25% tariff to be slapped on all exports of sarcasm and mockery. “We don’t need Canada’s jokes. We have our own ...

With a trade war on the horizon, Mennonites across North America are looking for ways to keep out of the whole mess and preserve their pacifist values. “I’m thinking of going to the Conscientious ...

Of all the mysteries that have befallen the Mennonite community over the centuries, the most baffling is why Loewen is pronounced “Low-en” and Toews is pronounced “Taves.” For consistency they should ...

Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make ...

Area man Abe Friesen is under the impression that the specific type of Mennonites that he is familiar with, those who speak Low German, wear suspenders, forbid dancing and drinking, and complain about ...

After recently discovering the dark underbelly of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, area man Art Klippenstein is relieved to know he drives a car with absolutely no association with right-wing authoritarian ...

Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time ...

Incoming US President Donald Trump has changed his mind about buying Canada after paging through the weekly real estate guide in Toronto. “1.5 million for that crap shack?” said Trump, looking at a ...

SANTA FE, NM In an executive order this afternoon, President Trump declared he was restoring the greatness of the nation by renaming New Mexico as New ‘Murica. “As of this day, we will have, a […] ...

SANTA FE, NM In an executive order this afternoon, President Trump declared he was restoring the greatness of the nation by renaming New Mexico as New ‘Murica. “As of this day, we will have, a […] ...

Americans were outraged this week after it was announced that their beloved Gulf of Mexico was going to have a name change just to appease some liberal snowflakes in Washington. “It’s been called that ...

In the early days of the Daily Bonnet, you may recall an annual quiz wherein folks were asked to identify real news from the fake variety. Well, we’ve decided to rekindle that tradition here on The ...